Unusual Shakespeare
by Hylianshadow86
Summary: Romeo and Juliet done with the legend of Zelda characters. But in this crack fic, Romeo has no interest with the psycho Juliet, but in her first cousin. Slightly yaoi, crack fic, slightly bad language. Probably makes no sense but I enjoyed writing it.


**A/N) I am having the worst case of writing block. Like my mind is moving a hundred miles a minute and I can't keep up. So, here is some senseless story to kind of help me think. Romeo and Juliet style but my Romeo (Link) has no interest in Juliet (Zelda) but he has an eye for Mercutio (Sheik) it's cracky, stupid, with absolutely no point and semi yaoi. Nothing like I've written before, but made me laugh. Also Knil, for those who haven't read my Different kind of Trilogy, is Dark Link. Random fact.**

"Link...O Link. Where is my knight in shining armor? Well, a tunic...same thing. I long to see him. Why do our families fight to keep us apart? Is it because your last name? Wait, does he even have one?" Zelda thought idly, after her dreamy speaking.

Link, who was hiding in the bushes, heard the dreamy love lorn speech, and wanted to vomit. He had no intention of even getting close to the self proclaimed Princess. No, he was much more interested in her first cousin, Sheik. What a specimen of man he was. Shapely like a woman, but strong like a man. The thought was enough to make his knees weak.

His best friend, Ghirahim, knew nothing of his strong attraction. Only of the deep set feud between the two families. Why, oh why did the Hyrule family see themselves as better than everyone else? Ugh, snobs!

Sheik wasn't Link's first choice. A fight broke out in castle town over his adoration for Knil. Saria advised him to give up. So they snuck into a party, and there he was. Looking so fine in his skin tight outfit, and most of his face covered (mostly it was dat ass) but Zelda thought he was looking at her. Then, he found out that beautiful specimen, and Zelda, were from the two feuding families...goddess damnit.

So now, Link had snuck into this orchard, hoping to see Sheik, and now he was feeling nauseous over Zelda's senseless drabble. Something about flowers, and ah who really cares? Unfortunately, he was seen.

"Uh Hark...some stuff about a window break, and you being the damn sun in my face!" he said.

"Oh Link! I knew you couldn't stay away! Are you here to ask me to marry you, and end up in some whirlwind romance, in which both of us die a tragic death?" Zelda asked in some psycho happy way.

Link look dumbfounded "What? No, that's stupid!"

She hadn't heard him "I will go get ready. Tomorrow! We can be married. Now hurry! My cousin Sheik is coming."

"Actually he's the one I want to-"

"Goodbye Link. I love you!" Zelda walked back into her room.

Link held his stomach as he walked away. "I'm really going to vomit!"

Zelda smiled at Sheik as he walked in.

"What's got you so elated?" the red eyed boy asked.

"Link and I are getting married tomorrow!"

"That scoundrel. I must challenge him to a duel! For your honor!" Sheik said, punching his hand.

"Yeah whatever. Just don't hurt his pretty face."

The next morning, Link was at a pub trying to settle his still queasy stomach, when a messenger boy came running in "Link! Sheik wants to fight you!"

"Fight? For whose on top? I figured it would be obvious! Link said.

Ghirahim sighed "Link I don't think that's what he meant. I feel this is a bad idea."

But Link didn't listen. He saw Sheik standing in the town square, looking so sexy. That tight outfit just showed off everthing so nicely.

"Do you wish to cross swords with me, sir?" Sheik asked him dangerously.

"Me sir? No sir! Not in a physical way, more of metaphorical way. I'd rather cross the swords we have in our pants." Link said waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Sheiks face went red "W-what?" He became embarrassed, and ran after Link, sword in hand. When his sword pierced flesh, it wasn't Link on the other end of his blade, it was Ghirahim.

Link looked wide eyed at Ghirahim's crumpled body. Sheik smiled, proud of hurting the cur indirectly, but was shocked when the blond began to laugh.

"Oh thank the Goddess! I hated that guy. You know me so well, become my sweet!"

Sheik became flustered "What drugs are you taking? You speak to me like some silver tongued devil, yet promise marriage to my cousin!"

"Zelda? No! She's crazy and creepy. I want nothing to do with her. I hid in the orchard hoping to catch a glimpse of you!"

"Of me?" Sheik blushed.

"I'm still dead here!" Ghirahim huffed. How dare they ignore his dead corpse?

"Then shut up like one!" Link kicked him to the side, and grabbed Sheik's hands "Yes. You are so beautiful and captivating. Why wouldn't I wish to see you? I don't care what family you are from, love knows no bounds!"

"Oh Link!"

They kept their love a secret. Until one day, the feud was ended. Zelda had apparently killed herself over some other feuding family boy, and all the families decided to end the feuding.

Soon Sheik and Link were wed, and happy.

The End.

 **I honestly make no apologies. It was fun!**


End file.
